


Anxiety

by CanineWitchcraft



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-08 11:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8843113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanineWitchcraft/pseuds/CanineWitchcraft
Summary: Small pieces that focus on Erin anxiety disorder and Erin and Holtzmann's relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is somewhat based off of my own personal experiences and dealing with my anxiety.  
> I'm going to warn you right now, I wrote this quickly and didn't read it over before posting it. I am sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin is having severe anxiety and Holtzmann is there to help her through it.

Erin had been quiet all day. She had said good morning and brought Holtz her morning cup of coffee, but hadn’t said anything other than the typical morning script. “Good morning.” “Did you sleep at all last night?” “Here’s your coffee.” She had walked over to her desk, plopped down in her chair and hadn’t left that spot for the past 6 hours. She didn’t eat and only drank the mug of tea she had from that morning, which had now cooled and was only half gone.

 

Holtzmann on the other hand had been buzzing around her workspace all day and had left for lunch, which Erin had declined accompanying her to. She claimed she was going to make something quick in the fire station. When Holtz climbed the stairs and saw Erin still at the desk with no evidence of food having been eaten or at the very least cooked, she was less than pleased. Holtz knew that Erin would get like this from time to time. Her anxiety would flair up like an evil spirit and whisper the worst of the worst to Erin. No matter how hard she tried to ignore the voices or tell herself they were wrong, she would still shut down. Holtz had only seen it happen twice in the seven months they had been together. This was the third time and did not get any easier to see the woman that she loved eating herself up from the inside out.

 

“Hey.” Holtzmann said as gentle as an Irish wolfhound approaching a week old kitten.

 

Erin jumped at the sound of the blonde’s voice and forced herself to take a breath and relax her shoulders. “Sorry, didn’t hear you come back.”

 

“Have you eaten?” Her voice was soft, she had learned from the first time that her usual excited and hyped up tone only made Erin’s anxiety skyrocket when she was like this.

 

The red head looked at her desk, “No….”

 

Holtz was silent for a moment, let out a soft breath. “Can I touch you?” Lesson number two had been that touching Erin without permission during a panic attack or anxiety attack or when was having high anxiety like today only led to things getting far worse. The first time Erin had crumbled and pushed away.

 

Erin gave the blonde a sidewise glance before giving her a slow nod. Holtzmann her hand on Erin’s shoulder, rubbing it down her back and back up, “You want to go home?”

 

The red head considered is from a moment before shaking her head, “I have too much work to get done.” She turned back to what she had been working on. Not much of it had been worked on since she had come it. Most of the morning had been spent staring at it and willing herself to do what she had needed to do.

 

“Er, you can work on it tomorrow.” Holtzmann’s hand travelled up the base of Erin’s neck and messaged her scalp and neck.

 

Erin sighed, “Okay.” She stood up, pushed away from the desk and wrapped her arms around Holtzmann. She buried her face into the blonde’s neck and took a deep breath. Holtz leaned her head against the other woman’s and ran her fingers along Erin’s sides. She rocked her back and forth for several minutes before whispering into the top of Erin’s head, “Lets go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short. I may add on to this eventually. I've found it some what therapeutic to write about Erin's anxiety. Like I said before, this is based off of my own anxiety and depression. 
> 
> Enjoy.

“I’m sorry.” Erin said as she curled up onto the couch, knees to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs. She stared ahead of her, not at anything specific. Hyper focused on nothing of value or importance. 

 

Holtzmann set down a mug of tea on the coffee table in front of Erin and draped a blanket over the balled up woman. “Don’t apologize.” She sat next to her, keeping a few inches between them to make sure Erin did not become overwhelmed. “It’s okay.” She watched Erin as she picked up her tea and sipped at it. A smile spread across her face, as she tasted peppermint.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Holtz beamed, “You are quite welcome.” She watched Erin sip her tea and shift into a less ball like shape. “Would you like to watch a movie?” Erin nodded. Holtzmann dug through her DVD collect until she found one of Erin’s comfort films, Practical Magic.

 

The film started up and Erin’s smiled grew, “You know me so well.”

 

“My goal in life is to be a Gilbert expert.” The blonde said as she collapsed back onto the couch.

 

Erin released a sigh and leaned back into the corner of the couch. She sipped at her tea for a couple minutes before setting down an empty cup on the table. Holtz watched her for a long moment as Erin watched the film. She noticed the other wasn’t truly watching the TV. She was staring at it, unfocused, zoomed out.

 

“Er?” Holtzmann paused and continued to watch Erin, “Erin?” Her voice was soft and gentle.

 

“Hm?”

 

“May I lay on you?” Pressure was a sure fire way to help relax Erin. It was a trick she had learned after doing some Internet research on Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorder. Deep pressure therapy, as it was called, did wonders for relaxing Erin both during and after a panic attack or when her anxiety was high. A weight of any source against her body was therapeutic, like a tight hug. A dog worked best, but neither woman owned a dog, so getting lied on by a Holtzmann was the next best option. 

 

Erin gave her a soft smile and nodded. Holtz crawled forward and rolled so that her back was against Erin’s chest. She pulled Erin’s arms around her pressed against the taller woman. Her thumb rubbed against the bare skin of Erin’s arm in soothing circles as they watched the film. She felt Erin sigh after a while, releasing all the tension in her body and finally relax. Erin began rubbing her thumb along Holtz’s arm as she snuffled into the woman lying against her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin has something to discuss with Holtzmann and she's avoiding the conversation as much as possible.

Erin was sitting staring at her computer. Her fingers glided over the keys with the finesse of a pianist. The sound of her typing made Holtz smile as she came up the stairs with two mugs. She walked up behind her, watching her as she scrolled through a Google search. She paid no mind to what the red head was searching and instead smiled down at her girlfriend as if she was the light of her life.

 

“I made you tea.” She finally said.

 

Erin jumped, whipped around towards Holtz and closed the laptop in one quick movement.

 

“Oh…are you buying a secret gift for me?” Holtzmann teased as she set the mugs on the table.

 

Erin’s eyes widened, her breath quickening. She shook her head, “N-no, I-”

 

Holtz softened, “Hey, I was teasing, it’s okay.”

 

“Sorry. Guess I’m a little jumpy.” She laughed it off and reached for the tea, “Thank you.”

 

Holtzmann smiled and sipped at her coffee, “How was your appointment?”

 

Erin turned back to her computer. “Fine.” She mumbled. Her thumbs rubbed up and down her mug as she stared at the hot liquid.

 

Holtmann’s smile weakened and she nodded. She knew not to push Erin when she avoided. Pushing would only anger her and she she’d close up and never tell you what you wanted to know. Instead, patience was the best method. Erin would come around and tell her girlfriend what was bothering her when she was ready. Holtz knew that. “Hey, how about a movie tonight? I’ll cook us spaghetti with that sauce you like so much.” The change in subject drew Erin back to her.

 

“Yeah?” Erin turned back to her, a soft smile starting to push her cheeks up.

 

“And I’ll dance for you.” Holtz started to swing her hips, which made Erin laugh.

 

“You know I like that.”

 

Holtz beamed as she leaned forward and kissed the top of Erin’s head. “I love you.” She said, “You know that, don’t you?”

 

“Yes.” Erin looked up into the blonde’s eyes and smiled, “I love you, too.”

 

* * *

 

Holtzmann looked up from her empty bowl at the woman sitting across from her. “You okay?”

Erin was pushing her food around her bowl. She had eaten a few bites, but now didn’t want any more. “Yeah.” She paused, sudden realization crossing her face, “It’s very good. Thank you for making dinner. I’m just…I’m not really hungry.”

 

Holtz nodded, “I’m glad you liked it. We can always reheat it if ya get hungry later. It’s always better the second time anyways, am I right?”

 

The red head smiled. She looked down at her hand for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Holtz.”

 

“That’s my name.”

 

Erin let out a half sigh that formed into a soft smile that relaxed her shoulders a small amount. She cleared her throat, composing herself before continuing, “I need to talk to you.”

 

Holtzmann smiled at her. Any conversation that started with those words was a conversation that had been difficult for Erin to start. Sometimes these were very serious conversations, other times they were conversations about Erin being anxious and worried about something and needing confirmation from Holtz about it.

 

“My psychiatrist thinks that I should…get a dog.”

 

“I’ve heard that dogs reduced blood pressure and depression. Oh! We should check out petfinder! We could rescue a pit bull or a cute little mix breed!”

 

“No, Holtz, not a pet dog.”

 

Holtzmann furrowed her brow. “Not a pet…what other kind of dog is there?”

 

“A service dog.”

 

Holtz gave her a slow nod, “He thinks that’ll help?”

 

Erin gave her a shrug. “He said that it is something to think about.”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t had a dog in a few years. I was better then. I used to sneak her into work when I had to stay late or if the students had an exam or test.” Erin let out a sigh, “I…I think a service dog would help.”

 

Holtz gave her a big smile, “Then lets do this. Lets figure out how to make it happen.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yah!”

 

The two women grinned at each other. Erin could feel her heart begin to warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'll periodically keep adding to this. I may continue with the Service dog idea, I may not.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
